Oh No! (Commodore 64)

by PaulEMoz in , , , , , , ,


There is no way... no way, that you could would buy Oh No! just from looking at the cover art. There's a cow with a space helmet on its head, an odd-looking furry animal, a desert and, in the background, a spacecraft.

The spacecraft is the important part. Oh No! is a shoot 'em up, and although the storyline is odd, the game most certainly is not...

In Oh No!, the year is 1,000,000 AD, and you are a breeder of space oxen. These beasts are very highly coveted by other entities, who will stop at nothing to get their hands or other genetically-modified appendages on them. The rustling bastards. So you must mount up on your trusty space-steed and put a stop to their stealing shenanigans.


The first planet is the easiest, but you'll still have to be cautious...

It's much simpler than it sounds as a game... confined within one screen, you must blast anything that comes within range and stop them from taking the oxen off the screen. If all the oxen are lost, the game is over. Them's the rules, and they're easy to follow...

And indeed, the game is simple in theory. Once you start playing it, though, you'll see that it's much more difficult in practice.

Oh No!, to my mind, stands right up there among the finest of frantic shooters. What it essentially does is to cross Robotron: 2084 with Defender and Missile Command. Wait... let me explain.


That pink thing looks familiar... if it wasn't nicked from Defender, I'll eat my hat.

You have a playfield where you have to protect your oxen... they're like The Last Human Family, but in bovine form. But unlike in Robotron, they're not killed when enemies get to them. Instead, they're captured, and you have a limited amount of time to rescue them before they're taken off the playfield. See, that's like Defender.

The game is split up into different planets, and each planet has nine waves, with each being progressively more manic than the last. There's no break between waves. Once you destroy every enemy in a wave, the next one rushes in without a second thought. If you want any kind of a break for your trigger finger, you'll have to wait nine waves for it.


Leave her alone, you BITCH!

As your only objective is to save your oxen, it's important to keep them close together or, if it all gets too much, let them all go except for one and be sure to defend that one to the end. That's the Missile Command aspect... it's very similar to your endgame there, where you concentrate on keeping one city intact.

Oh No! was well-reviewed by ZZAP! 64, but I'm not sure how well it sold or was received in general. Comments on Lemon64 seem to be mixed, but I absolutely loved this game when I bought it and I still play it occasionally now. It's a really pure shoot 'em up high-score experience, guaranteed to get the adrenalin pumping. Lovely stuff.

Doppelganger (XBLA Indie Games)

by PaulEMoz in , , , , , ,


Just a quick little post to tell you about something I picked up on a whim today. It's called Doppelganger, and it costs a mammoth 80 points on XBox Live Arcade's Indie Games.

Oh, alright... that would be a bit too quick. I'll go into a bit more detail.


Awww. Little cute alien versions of Defender's nasty ships. They're all still trying to kill you, though.

Doppelganger is basically a cross between Defender and Iridis Alpha. Everyone knows Defender. Most people that read this will know Iridis Alpha... for anyone that doesn't, it's a classic shoot 'em up from Jeff Minter, which splits the insanely fast shooting gameplay across two levels on a split screen.

What Doppelganger does is to remake Defender with really cute graphics, and then apply Iridis Alpha's split screen mechanic to it. So if you didn't think that Defender was hard enough as it is, try playing two games of it at the same time.


Top level... bottom level... top level... oh, hell, there's carnage everywhere!

It's not actually as bad, or should I say as hard as it sounds. The levels are kept fairly spacious, with not too many enemies flying around. At least, that's how it is for as far as I've managed to get in the game... doesn't mean it'll stay like that. And that also means in my few quick goes that I wasn't very good at it. Still, for 80 points I would say that Doppelganger is going to give me way more than my money's worth. It's a lot of fun and promises to be a real challenge for any old-school arcade shooter fan.